Suicide Prevention Hotline:
1-800-273-8255
When the blackness swirls around you,
reach out to someone,
grab hold,
and hang on Baby!
You are loved, you are needed, you are wanted and you are ENOUGH!
This blog will probably be the hardest one for me to write. The topic is fresh, the topic is hard, and the topic is personal. There is a lot of stigma surrounding suicide. So I will try my very best to navigate this rough water if you will keep an open mind to my intentions when my words fail me. I will not get into the specifics, this is not a debate, this is for support and community.
Many hide behind smiles and laughter, when they're drowning inside. There is a hopelessness buried, that is suffocating them. I say they, but I mean WE. To publicly admit that I myself have thought about, and tried to end my life is difficult. It's hard, and it's embarrassing, but there is a power in speaking out...
Though it's been many years for me, it is still a struggle. Everyday. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. The first thing I want you to do is to create a safe circle for yourself. People who you know will be real with you, People you trust, and people who understand. Next, I NEED you to speak up! It's hard, I know more than most how hard it is, trust me though it's not just for you even if you think it is. By being real with your struggle you may give hope to another person who's afraid to speak up. Frequently take stock of every good thing in your life. Make a list, poster, playlist; something, anything to give you a constant reminder of why you're here and why you need to continue to be here.
This is no substitute for seeking professional help, but just a little something to help take the edge off.
I am here to tell you repeatedly if necessary; you have a purpose in this world!!!
Of the many, there is only one you!
There may have been an external factor in why you now have to deal with the demon in your head, it may be in your internal chemistry, but it's there. More than likely it always will be, but that doesn't mean that you have to surrender.
I believe that there is a fight inside everyone, it just takes the right motivation. Hopefully this will help.
I have always been able to handle anger much better than the sadness that creeps in and if this is you too, I can work with that. If this isn't you, I still urge you to reach out to find your inner fighter!
Don't give up!
Don't be fooled though this is a battle, not to the death, but for the right to live! You are a warrior and every battle you have faced to this point in your life has made you stronger and more equipped to handle the next. Do you know what that means? It means that YOU ARE ALREADY VICTORIOUS! Yes, you have already won! I want you to rage against the demon as if it's trying to kill you, because it is. It is trying to steal something that is irreplacable. You.
I don't get sad I get pissed! I am possessive! Someone could love my family, but they could never be me. I'll be damned if I let someone else be there to experience my children growing, to play with my grandkids, or to see the weddings, graduations, and the births that I would miss! The people around you, yes they love you, they need you, and I can assure you that despite what you believe they will miss you. Of all of the people in the world they chose you, now it's your turn to choose them!
This Playlist today is my personal playlist. It inspires me to FIGHT. I fight for my sanity, I fight for my family, and I fight for my Life and I encourage you to fight with me. There is beauty in community, I will carry you when you struggle and I know that you'll be there for me!
So prepare for battle Soldiers!
I hope this helps. Keep fighting the good fight!
Check in and let me know that you're okay!
Feedback is always appreciated; the good and the bad.
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